We should ask four questions in our relationship

4 questions should ask in our relationship.


Something that each one of us cherished and very sweet to deep into our heart is love. We need every individuals to love and to be loved. In fact I say there is only one ship that never sink is the genuine meaningful relationship. It's quite amazing though how something that hold so sacred and so high value to it, it's often so neglected and abused in our relationship. One of the fact is that bring distance and bitterness is giving corrective feedback.  When we try to correct someone that's a bitterness in heart to whom the person we are trying to correct. Sometimes the person distances himself of his self from us.
How we should give a corrective feedback in relationship?
In order to correct someone or say something to someone which is not pleasant for someone then we try to ask 4 question to ourselves?

1. Am I the right person to correct other individual?
And who is the right person? Sometimes I say every women has only one best child in the world and that is her child and every man thinks that there is only one best women in the world and that is his wife. Can any man give a corrective  feedback to another person's wife? Can any parent give a corrective feedback to someone else's child?  Therefore when we say are you the right person? We should ask ourselves the question Am I relative? Am I a friend? Am I an authority in any way to give a corrective feedback? If answer is yes move towards 2nd question

2. Do you  have a right motive to correct?
Very often the motive in correcting others is settling our old accounts instead of actually serve person by helping the person what wrong he or she is doing. In giving corrective feedback we should have a very high sense of conscious, we should introspect and come to the conclusion when I say something to the person it's actually serve the person and not to settle any old accounts.

3. Do you actually know a right way to give corrective feedback?
A lot of times people are okay with taking corrections but the way the correction is expressed is so crose,  so blunts and so abusive can actually create a lot of harm to the person and the person switches off for taking such feedbacks.  Thus many times I say when we try to correct an issue, issue is only about 10% and 90% is about wrong tone of voice. If we just have a right tone of voice and if we say by right  way then lot of people are okay to handle it.  Our feedback, our correction, and our advices will sinks deeper.

4. Is it the right time to give a  feedback?
We should ask ourselves this question is it the right time to give a corrective feedback? Many times I says we should not express our anger, we should explain our anger or feelings. When you express what we feel then it's unpleasant and when we explain what we feels people can understand.  When heads are hot and we upset when we deal with a straightway feedback because it's a wrong timing because we expressed. And when we allow our heads to cool down you won't express but you will explain to say. Therefore remember 4 things in your life. If you want to ever ever ever give a corrective feedback.
1.  Are you the right person?
2. Do you have the right motive?
3. Do you have the right way?
4. Is it the right time?

गृहस्थ धर्म >>

 पति पत्नी सावधानीपूर्वक पवित्र जीवन जिएँ तो सन्यासाश्रम जैसा आनन्द गृहस्थाश्रम मेँ भी मिल सकता है । पवित्र जीवन जीने वाले दम्पत्ति साधु सन्तोँ की सेवा करके परमात्मा को पुत्र रुप मेँ पाकर अपनी गोद मेँ उनका लालन पालन करेँगे । जबकि सन्यासी मात्र ब्रह्मचिँतन मेँ ही लीन रहेगा ।
गृहस्थावस्था मेँ ध्यान रखना चाहिए कि पत्नी कामभोग का नहीँ , धर्म का साधन है । पत्नी तो गृहस्थाश्रम की सहायिका है । पत्नी संग सत्संग बने तभी गृहस्थाश्रम मे दिव्यता आती है । गृहस्थ धर्म को बनाये रखता है इसीलिए सन्यासी भी गृहस्थ के आँगन मेँ आता है । अतः गृहस्थाश्रम श्रेष्ठ है । पति और पत्नी दोनो सुपात्र होँ तो धर्म पालन हो सकेगा । गृहस्थ को सावधान रहना चाहिए कि कहीँ उससे पापाचार न हो जाय । उसे अन्दर से अनासक्त रहकर बाहर से सभी से प्रेम करना चाहिए । जो पात्र मेँ थाली मे है वह सभी कुछ अपना नहीँ है किन्तु जितना पेट मे समा सकता है , उतना ही अपना है , पेट मे जो गया है उसमेँ जितना पच सकता है उतना ही अपना है ।
गृहस्थाश्रमी को न तो अधिक कठोर होना चाहिए और न अधिक सरल ।

Gentlemen, be warned !

Gentlemen,  be warned ! 
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
_You are living in the world which is mortal._
All the men have to die and you don’t know the time of your death,
it is quite uncertain; 
the messengers of the god of death may come anytime. 
Therefore do not be careless, be warned, and do the work which you should do. 
If you don’t do it now, when will you do it ?  
The children think that they will do such work when they grow up.  Similarly we also think that we shall do this in the future. 
*But what will you do, when you grow old and your hair turns grey ?*  
_Then you will do nothing, except dying. _
The time is passing and the body is decaying every moment. 
*Is there any doubt about it ?  *

*You rejoice on your birthday, but you should lament on that day because you have wasted one valuable year of your life in which you might have attained God.* 
_Think over it seriously and be careful for the future without lamenting over the time which you have wasted.  Remember God._

*हरे कृष्ण*